First Love

Do you believe in “Love at first sight”?

It’s strange. Yes, talking about such a subject is very peculiar when you are never expected to speak about this most tantalizing feature of the Human lives. But sadly, every person speaks this strange language at some point of their lives. I don’t consider it necessary but don’t even know whether you can escape it or not. And if you find someone talking about this strange thing on this earth, you figure out that this person has gone straight into the hole with his head up. But this certainly doesn’t means that time has come. How can you forget what Love is?

Love is something that drives you through your life. Without Love, your life is empty. You won’t smile, you won’t laugh, you won’t cry and you won’t even talk if you have never received or given Love. Of course, to verify this one will have to live a life without love. Well, every person is bound to it, even if unknowingly and thus Love guides our way till death and even after it, or simply till eternity. Our mother’s love for us is her love at first sight. Our father’s care for us is his love at first sight, even a lot more than that. Our siblings love for us is their love at first sight. Your best friend too is your love at first sight. So, even if you try hard, you can’t escape from this magic of love. This is the real magic. But generally we separate these Loves of our life from the main stream because these are the indispensable part of our lives. So we don’t take a single chance with them. I will do the same. I won’t talk about my dearest loves on this earth which were god’s gift to me and will talk about those who entered my life later with time and then became my identity.

My first “First love” is Music. I can live one day without eating food but not without music. It’s an indispensable part of me. I love it. If ever on this earth can complete you besides your own Self, I think it is this. I can’t even imagine lives without music. Guess, how those few music haters live.

Frankly speaking, I don’t have just one first love but a number of them. My second first love was Science and will be forever. I loved Science even before I knew the word. Curiosity is its Master. Those who are curious to know about their world discover Science. I was always asking questions, “Why?”, “How?”, “When?”. Most of the times, I got my answers. Even when they were able to satisfy me at that time, I later discovered the truth behind them myself. But the most unsatisfactory of all was “Why”. “Why do we have stars? Why do we have plants? Why do we eat? Why do we sleep? Why do we need switches to switch on these lights? Why is the sun up in the sky? Why moon comes at night? Why we can’t go up in the sky? Why we don’t have wings? Why we have to study? Why is this “Why” on this Earth?” Poor elders. They are bombarded by these “Whys” by the so called god’s loves, children. We love children because they love “Why”. And elders hate to answer them because they hate “Whys”. And they hate “Whys” because they are afraid to encounter the truth, because to know the truth of these “Whys” is impossible for them. They can’t tell this to their children because the moment they will, they will finish everything on this earth. Humans have to give up this “Why” at least at some point of their lives if they want to die with peace. Science is at least able to answer a few of those “Whys” and that’s why I love it.

I have one more love but I cannot call it the love at first sight because I hated it for a long time until I realized that this is actually what I needed the most. It’s Physics. I resented it for a long time because of its incomprehensibility due to some leftover confusion. Later, I realized that I won’t find my existence without it. I separated Physics from Science because for me it’s more than Science due to some very special reasons.

So these are my three loves. But I wonder that what the actual definition of love is. In the end, it’s only an emotion but so strong that it gets hold of you. How you deal with this emotion actually takes course of your life. Are we responsible for this emotion every time? I don’t agree with this completely. How can you ever on this earth know that what will you fall in love with? Even after marriage people spend years wondering whether they found their true love. How are you going to define true love? How come it is different from Love? Can we ever know that what this stupidest and strangest thing on the earth is which drives the whole world and the entire universe crazy? This is the biggest confusion the human kind is suffering from. When you yourself are struggling to find the meaning of your own existence on this earth, how can you rely on something so futile originating from another’s existence that is a mere creation just like you? This single thing on the earth drives one crazy. But life without love would definitely be hell. If love has no meaning, why does it change you from within? Why it makes life difficult for you? Why is it so difficult to forget it when you come to realize that it is as real as a mirage? This is a complete mess and it’s better to stay away from it. But the most important of all, bet yourself, you can’t stay away from this ever, at least not till death.


Entropy of the Rationale

The past few days have not been unusual for me. There were those similar thought processes which I encounter almost every day and nurture in order to make them more realistic and productive to me. In all the activities that I do, I incorporate my thought process, perform intellectual analysis and initiate or drive the results in the most probable and favoured direction. So the activities, to a certain extent, are under my control. This is what I personally believe based on my experiences and observations. Also, if I try to support my reasoning using history or philosophy, the desire or will of a person, which are the results of one’s own thoughts, are the only forces that control a person’s destiny. How far this is true actually depends on the strength of these forces. In the case of successful people with remarkable achievements, these forces played the lead role in their rise.

Every individual has his own philosophy, constantly developing with time based on the individual’s experiences and learnings. People may have a basic theme or few common intricacies for their philosophies but no one can purely have another’s viewpoint and if one does, he no more possesses individuality. Well, I didn’t thought a word about philosophy when I started writing this article but eventually I found that even if I will not focus on it, my discussion here is a result of its profoundness in my life. Yesterday, while reading one of the world’s famous science literatures by the renowned physicist of this century Dr. Stephen Hawking, I was caught again by a scientific term very familiar to my intellect due to its incomprehensibility and its penetrating and overflowing nature in the physical world around me which is “Entropy”. I referred to the “Physical World” which is governed by the physical laws studied by man but created by the nature itself and not to the “Nature” around me, only because I am not contented with the description of the second law of thermodynamics that entropy (disorderliness) of an isolated system always increases until it reaches equilibrium. I am not challenging any scientific law or observation at this stage but I am just pointing that it does leaves some questions unanswered and does not aligns with the general perspective. Here I would mention that most of the Physical laws which today form the basis of our existence were initially discarded by people because change of their well established traditional views shook the foundation of their idealistic establishment. So if I have some confusion regarding the second law it might be a result of the partial understanding by me or the system that I consider which, possibly, can be affected by philosophy.

The human body is a good example of increasing entropy with time. The increasing disorderliness of the body cells and tissues leads to the malfunctioning of the organs and ultimately the death of the organism. So in the biological human body, with time the entropy does increases. But if I consider the Human Mind, here, I guess this no more holds true. Talking about entropy in the human mind can be a bit irrational if we try to write the equations and try to solve the case for some accurate results. But let us consider entropy as a general disorder in arrangements of thoughts in mind. This sounds weird. The human mind is the unbeatable supercomputer which, with time, learns and organizes the experiences, improves with time and then superior thoughts are generated and processed. The Mind, constituting of the conscious and unconscious parts, is totally abstract. As I have excluded the biological functions which will definitely increase the entropy by dissipating energy here, we see no scope for any increasing disorder, until and unless the consciousness is affected by the degrading neurons with age and leads to mental diseases. Even if that happens in most cases, at least for a considerable time, the entropy seems to decrease.

As the Mind grows, we learn things. We have unlimited storage memory so we do not have to erase anything for saving the future incidents. That’s why the learning process in humans goes on till death. With time, the humans grow sensible and guide their thoughts which are much organized and fruitful. It can be considered that some entropy can result in order to unlearn the terrible experiences and though they actually develop the analysis power and decision-making element, it does increases entropy. But in general, the increase is much small as compared to the increasing orderliness. The thinking and the processing section uses most of the energy and is the main source of increasing randomness. But with meditation and control of thoughts, we can reduce the disorderliness to a much larger extent. Over all if we see, the entropy does decreases. There can be many flaws in this formulation and the corrections may lead to the validity of the second law even in case of abstracts, but the chance seems low to me.

Whatever I tried here was a result of reducing the sudden increase in the entropy of my mind which aroused after reading that whether the whole universe will expand or contract, the entropy will always increase. If Nature loves disorderliness so much that it will be satisfied only if a glass of water breaks and spills the water on the floor then why it tries to maintain a perfect balance of the forces so as to avoid the contraction of our universe, or maintains the balance of our atmosphere and weather cycles to sustain life on earth (as the current disorderliness we are observing in the temperatures are a result of what We did to this equilibrium), or why it tried to create the most developed and ordered Homo sapiens with the proper system that maintains equilibrium when it could have left the proteins and the molecules fragmented declining every possibility of life in the universe. The justification that we try to seek that nature loves increasing entropy is undesirable when we see perfect equilibrium being established around us. Or it may be that we haven’t reached the equilibrium yet, but when we will reach it, there should be no increase in entropy and if there is, it will be accompanied by decrease in entropy, because the Nature loves equilibrium. So the statement that “the entropy of the universe will keep on increasing forever” is not acceptable. There has to be a decrease in entropy and there has to be an order in the universe else our existence will be just an accident with no true significance. So there will be no scope for praising the human species as the most incredible creations of universe because it is just randomness, and I guess Nature doesn’t want a futile creation.

A Silent Conversation

…wait, let me relax. Oh, I am tired of playing with you now. Just a break and I’ll start again. Ha, it’s so fun! I am loving this.

“What are you doing? I’ve told you thousand times not to do this. Why don’t you listen? I’ve warned you that you’ll suffer a lot. You… you are so obstinate!!! Stubborn!!! I am bursting with anger. I … I just don’t know what to do. I can’t ignore you, I can’t do anything to you. I just don’t know what to do.

“Please. Please I beg you, don’t do this, please don’t. Why don’t you understand? I can’t bear this; I can’t go on with this. It, it breaks me down. It rips me off and leaves me shattered. If I am in pain then how can you look for your comfort, your happiness? It’s ridiculous! Don’t you get this? If you don’t care about me, you are harming yourself. Please, just understand me.

“Now listen. This is enough and it’s for the last time. Don’t do this again. And even if this time you dare to do it, I am going to stop you. Yes, me. Because  I am the one who controls you and it will be the reverse now. Do you get that?”

He’s quite. He’s calm. He listens. He listens to everything. But only listens .To call him stubborn, is not wrong. But he never argues, and why would he? He is his own master. He is always happy. He does what he likes. He’s lost. He’s lost in his own world. He’s the creator, and creates what he wants. He is satisfied. It’s not easy to make him do what he doesn’t love. It will be ruining his world, will give him pain and will make him cry. And this, she doesn’t want.

Ah!  What a weather! A sweet breeze. There it comes and, look, look there…. he’s going, he’s flying with the wind. Far away. Far away from that argument, far away from worries and far away from this world.

He enjoys everything. He’s fearless. He can go deep into the ocean and sleep for hours on the seabed, lost in dreams, sleeping deep inside a shell. He’s a pearl. Yes, he lives in fantasies. But that’s his world. And no one can say to him that his world doesn’t exist, because no one knows whether theirs is a real one or not.

He’s going high. High up in the sky, riding at the back of a pure white dove, touching its soft white furs. He plays with those chickens which are just so difficult for her to catch. You wait no moment and he’s there, floating in the Milky Way, sleeping on a bed of pure white light with the cutest stars asking him to play with them and laugh, to laugh so loud that the universe shakes and realizes his power which is greater than theirs.

He’s real and she, she watches him quietly. She knows he didn’t care about a single word she said because he was never here. She always did this but in the end, he is the one who wins. And if he loses, she will regret her victory forever. She knows that he is her master and will always be. Her tears dry up. She takes out some work to be done which doesn’t require his presence, and demands no brain. Leaving him alone where he was, she watches him quietly, willing to live his life, which will never be hers.