A Dream with Ghosts of Einstein and Galileo!

One of the very interesting topics to discuss with friends when you want to chat for hours overnight and blabber about anything, just to kill time, is “Ghosts”. So questions arise, like “Do you believe in Ghosts?”, “Have you ever seen a Ghost?” “Any stories about ghosts if you know?”, ghost’s movies and all. Majority of times it is all a gossip, because we know that encountering a Ghost is near to impossible as their presence itself is not known. So it is a hallucination if someone says that he/she saw a Ghost. Anyway, this thing here is not a gossip as it’s about a dream that actually happened. Yes, dreams are real when they come in a deep sleep and when most of the times you are not aware of them happening. It was just another day when I went to sleep, with the only difference that I studied a bit of Physics after a long gap. Physics is like a stimulant to the nerves, because it activates your special sensors and takes you silently to a thinking and imaginative mode. Also, to point out before I go ahead, that day I was called by my teacher as “Alberta Einstein” in a kidding tone due to the subject I am going to pursue my PhD in. When it comes to Physics, Einstein is the first word that comes to people’s mind.  These are just small details that I think were necessary reasons for one of the strangest dreams I ever had.

The dream begins with a conference in which all the aspiring Physics’ students were participating, along with eminent physicists and researchers. Evidently, I was one of the participants here, super excited, with the passion for Physics over flowing in me, and in the dream! So there were all the big talks in the conference and discussions on some very fascinating subjects, for e.g., Cosmology, Astrophysics, General Relativity, SUSY etc. My mind, being in its highest energy state, was trying to absorb the most from the surroundings and as usual, it was a great pleasure quenching a deep thirst. At the night, as it usually happens in conferences and schools, everyone gathered for some more discussions and talks, about Physics and some random topics. The room was on the first floor of a big building,  with a small balcony on one side and a long alley on the other. The garden outside was dark and lonely, with the trees at the boundary slept and silent. There was no motion anywhere around, except the mumbling of words inside the only room filled with people. Lost among the discussions were all, when suddenly a white silhouette passed by the window of that big dark room, where just a small white lamp was burning in the corner to kill the darkness. The figure was easily identifiable due to the very familiar features to all those present there: the big messed, white, straight and erect hair on head, big brushy white mustache and a big German body in the English costume that we always saw in the pictures. But this time, it was all glowing white. Just in an instance we grasped that it was Einstein, probably his Ghost. But even that was enough for the nascent creatures there. What else could a student ask for if given a chance to meet one of the path breaking Physicists of the century who defined the greatness of the Human species. ‘Even his Ghost would reveal all the secrets!’, was what that everyone there assumed. We sprung from our places and ran out of the room, shouting in excitement to meet or at least have the glimpse of this strange structure. Definitely I was among those, running ahead of all, thinking about how to capture this greatest moment of my life. There were so many things boggling my small little brain, surging up from everywhere, that what can be the one question I can ask him; about a striking Physics problem or his passion for Physics, some motivation for us or about GTR. But the first thing was to see him with these real eyes, leaving the question to slip out of the mouth at that instance itself, whatever it would have been. We were just going to get hold of him, running behind his back in the alley, when that white structure seemed to notice all the chaos behind him, breaking the deadly silence that it would have favored. He turned around. The blood beating fast in my veins, chaotic blunders messing my brain, with the throat drying up and the last drops of moisture evaporating, with hands all wet, eyes wide and the mouth opened in awe, I saw him standing in front of me – the big white Ghost of Einstein. His eyes were staring right into mine. Before I could even come back to my senses to utter  a word, whatever it would have been, a sharp chill went down my veins shivering my whole body. It was scary like hell. Forget about Einstein, it was actually a Ghost, and Ghosts, of whoever they are, just scare out Humans. So I was standing in front of a Ghost!!! I was numb, with my throat choked.

The next thing happened that very instance was everyone shouting and running back to the room for our rescue with the maximum speed possible. Being the one ahead in the group to see the Einstein’s ghost, I was among the last in the rows of  running scared kids. It was freezing hell, running from a Ghost, running so fast to escape his grip and to save your tiny self out. But that Ghost, seemed least interested, just like a Physicist, to get hold of anyone of the stupid petrified creatures. Never mind, we just had to escape from that place anyhow. It was then when we were just going to enter that room, when in the alley at the other side of the entrance, we saw another white silhouette, wearing a long white cloak, with long hair and beard but shorter than those of Gandalf of the Lord of the Rings. At an instance, with no idea from where on this earth, it struck my mind that this was Galileo, in fact, his Ghost! Now this crossed the limit of madness and everyone screamed out of fear. I screamed too, aloud and involuntarily, due to the utter shock and fear that my mind bumped into. The next step was a big leap into that room, enough big to make the body weight disappear and I could feel the numbness spreading all over my muscles and blankness occupying my senses. My eyes opened in the dark room. I sat and my hands just went to pick up the bottle next to my bed, opening it fast. I drank till the bottom to wet my dried throat and to bring myself back to senses. I opened my eyes wide to make myself realize that this is my room and not the one from the dream. I was little scared because it was just a dream, but I was scared. I could not believe that I just saw a weird dream and in it met the ghosts of two greatest physicists of all times! “What the hell was that?” I sighed. I preferred closing my eyes and going back to sleep as the best thing to be done; to a deep sleep that blocks all the thoughts and even dreams. I closed my eyes that moment to forget that I saw an “Einstein dream”. I chuckled, thinking about my strange dream and wondering if this was the beginning of being  just another crazy Physicist, one among the numerous out there.

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The Flow

It’s 12 by the clock. She tried but couldn’t sleep, getting used to this awakening of sleeplessness since she arrived in this new world. One could have many reasons to this, a disturbed bio-clock, short-nights in this land, a disrupted routine and of course some silly thoughts. Though she never had a disciplined one but a routine with flexibility was always there. It will be back on track again but the sooner it does the better it will be. Twenty minutes passed with the eyelids relaxing while opened in the dark, though dim lights of the lamp-posts between the trees in the café outside the window were maintaining a silhouette, enough to be seen through the night. The entire Universe was visible with all its clouds, stars and galaxies in a distant. If brain doesn’t thinks of a solution sometimes, the rest of the body seems to have taken the charge. A break from that posture, she rose and walked.

The room was dark and windows dim-lit but the footsteps were not visible. Slippers were making a rhythmic sound in the silence and the music was flowing within the block, somewhere in the distant land or maybe just in the dreams of the one sleeping beneath her apartment. Nothing mattered. It was a pleasure to have a walk in a dark room at the midnight, a soothing phenomenon which relaxed the nerves. But the trouble was still there. Why was this awakening here with no remedies? Plenty of solutions to adjust the body clock were there, still none fitted better. It happens. There was a big change. She was wondering if she has even given enough thought to this, that where was this life heading, a thought that made her precipitate. Keys were wet with the moisture but she is used to it. And now it seemed that the electronics have also adapted themselves to this and hence worked pretty well till now.

There are no thoughts anymore, a realization that everything is destined. No matter how hard you think or how hard you push, you can never run over this being which enchanted the entire universe that it now speaks only its language. So it’s all about Time and if this is the fact, it changes. As it changed for her and she realized. But at the same time, this Magus blocked her vision through the future. And now she wondered what she missed, and that what is gone was not very far from now. She thinks she’ll realize, but the fear screams aloud that she won’t.  But now it’s too late and thankfully she knows it. She is clever enough to find out the ways and even if she doesn’t know yet, it will teach her. She is not lost, as she never was. Just a break, just some more time and it will all be usual again, in her same old ways. It has all the powers and she realizes how it gave her that power too, silently. Again it was the dark room, a small lamp, the golden light and now, also a gleaming smile.

Valentine’s Day

On Valentine’s Day, as celebrations are restricted for few, same is the case with this blog too. This is what in general the Valentine’s Day is defined as- a day when you bestow all the love in this whole world on that one person who has changed your life, a day that most people await, except a few who are not really interested to show their love or are “single”. Even this group is divided into two categories- those who are singles by choice and those who are by fate. It’s good if you belong to the first category. For those in relationships with their spouses or a special friend, this day is the sweetest day on this Earth. For the rest, who want to escape this one day from their lives, where was all this a few years back when there was no tradition of celebrating this day in India? Though no one will be convinced by this fact,frankly saying, I don’t even mean to. Still, if this is a trend in this era, let’s face it.  The first category of singles care less about this day, though there will be a few who will be waiting to change their status soon (too much hyped in Facebook!). The second ones, sadly, have no choice in present. Kind of funny as this reminds me of the show “Broken Hearts” on AIR FM Rainbow (92.7 MHz), hosted by my favourite Radio Jockey with a beautiful name Lovelein, around eight years ago. If it still would have been on AIR, I guess how many would be sticking to their radios today. But till that one moment of your life when you await your meet with your so-called “true love”, either you will sit idle or wonder whether to busy yourself with work or wander with your friends. If you have the second option, which is possible if your friends lie in your category, it’s good for you. Have fun with them. If you are not so lucky, concentrate on your work. And if you are so unlucky that it’s the hardest thing for you to do today, it’s time for you to have a check on yourself now.

First of all, to celebrate a day or festival, you better know what it is all about. The Valentine’s Day is all about “Love”, cultivating this magical and most beautiful feeling in your hearts and then sharing it. And if it is Love, it has a lot of definitions, right? There is no one definition for your “True love” or your “sweethearts”. It doesn’t define just one person in your life. They define a few more too. If possible, give a portion of your Love and this day to those who love you the most, your family, your siblings, and all of your friends. Your friends, who will kick you hard if you sit at the corner with a gloom face and will drag you out, failing all your efforts to stay indoors and will change your day, colouring it with their smiles, their stupid jokes and laughs. You love those guys, give a part of this day to them too. Just one friendship day or week is not enough to thank them for being your friends!

At last, where are you lost? What about that only person in this world who defines your world and your existence in it, the one who has all the responsibilities of loving and caring everyone else, the one who is so beloved and needed by those precious people all around? That only person: your “I”. On this wonderful day, your “I” is sad, hopelessly idle, and making your loved ones sad too. How come on this earth you forget that you need to love your “I” before loving anyone else? Cheer up and smile because you need to give all the remaining and bigger portion of your “Love” to your “I” today. You need to be happy, Love yourself and cherish your life on this earth. Discover what makes you happy and do that today. Nurture your loves, your love for music, your love for food and your love for books. Forget about this day, even this whole life is so little to love your “I”. Love gives you happiness and if you can generate this happiness in your own, with your own help and by loving your own “Self”, you won’t even make your “I” happy but the world around you will light up like stars gleaming and smiling forever. Sing aloud, listen to your favourite numbers, play your instrument, watch your favourite movies, get lost inside your beloved books and dedicate all this to your “I”. When it all ends in happiness, even if it is this one day, then why you just don’t begin with the end itself? It’s your time. Rise and live up your life. Because to say “I Love you”, one must first learn to say “I”. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Damn!

Is something wrong with me that I keep on creating troubles for people unknowingly? I don’t do it purposely. I never ever in my dreams mean to harm anyone, forget about thinking, at least not with my deeds and words. Most of the time, I don’t even come to know that I am making it difficult for people around me. Am I so ignorant? Am I the biggest damn fool on this earth that I don’t get things straight into my head? Do I always need explanations when I have a lot of things to explain to people to get things right but I don’t explain as people seldom tend to understand simplicity of the complexes? I wonder, no, I try hard to figure out whether something is wrong with me or in my ways or I just don’t accord with this world and its rules? Why are some things so hard for me when they happen to people easily? Why do I give extreme importance to abstract? Why life is the most complex the moment I try to simplify it for the easiest? Why things go wrong when I try to put them straight? Why I am always being tested in everything I do? Why am I responsible for problems to people or why am I even spoiling and interfering with other’s life when I am unaware of this fact on this earth?

Do hell with this why man. This sucks. This whole mess whatever you call it life, circumstances, destinies or just whatever. This all sucks. I am fed up. I have been doing this for my entire life till now. I am tired of resolving issues. I am tired of understanding things. I am tired of solving puzzles. I am tired of getting things to my head and stopping the stupid heart to interfere with them. I am tired of balancing situations. I am tired of handling issues. I am tired of understanding people. I am tired of making things right. I have drained my energy to complete it, to correct everything that goes wrong and to set the rhythm of my life. I need peace. I don’t want to explain things now. I don’t even ask to be understood. I need to be in harmony with this life. I need life to stop hitting me at once with everything it has to offer. I want it to leave me alone for at least one day. I want to go away from everything on this earth, away from my own worries and happiness and whatever hell I have created. I just want to get done with this damn spirit, at least, just for one single day. Or do I just don’t even deserve this? Damn this life! Ha! It’s so beautiful.

It’s Christmas time!

After burning my fingers to bring out something better, I was walking alone in the lonely streets lightened by the evening sun. It is always a different feeling when you listen to your breathing, coordinating with the slowly moving winter breeze and the sun setting at the distant horizon. Though you are mentally at peace, there is something you feel deep inside your soul. It says something, not to you but to the fields with the green paddy around, to the golden light that falls on them, to the wind that makes you feel its touch, to the birds flying back to their nests and to their dark silhouettes casted by the twilight. You are silent when your heart speaks and you just listen to its conversations. It was strange that I noticed the big Christmas trees in my neighbourhood now, when the festive season has arrived. I guessed where my eyes were during the rest of the year. I might have noticed them but just enough to ignore later. So Christmas was near.

The evening street has just a few labours busy in constructing new houses, two or three housewives watering the saplings in their kitchen gardens and of course, children playing along the road in the vacant plots among the happy bushes who live there in peace. It is always a blissful sensation when you see children playing and shouting while having fun in ecstasy. You are happy and always wish if you could be one of them now, because children have innocent hearts, unaware of the worldly pleasures and troubles, away from jealousy and pain and because you know you were like them once. Yesterday, I heard them calling me. I smiled at them while walking straight to my destination. When I returned, they ran at their full speeds to catch me. I stopped when I saw them coming and this brought a big smile on my face. They all were shouting “Didi, please sign kar do”. Then I noticed that every one of them had a copy and pen in their hands. They needed my signature. I felt like a star. Suddenly a little girl said “Didi, aish karo, aapka autograph le rahe hain sab”. Smart kids, the 21st century’s rocking generation! Trying to follow the so-called adult scenario of looking into the things deeply before acting on them, I asked why on the earth was I getting so much attention. One of the smart boys said “It’s from the school didi, for Christmas. We need to show that we have collected so many blessings”. Nice way boy. Why don’t I have such ideas? I signed all of their notebooks and to my surprise I was the 220th person to do so. So they have already collected many blessings. I thought if I would have asked for autographs now I would have just one and that too mine! After making them happy I was on my way when I saw two shy girls standing at the corner of another street, again with copies in their hands. I smiled and waited if I will be experiencing a starry welcome again or not. I guessed right and I was approached by those sweet girls asking me to sign their copies. This time I was the 93rd person. I asked to which school she belonged and why she needed my signatures. She timidly turned around but since I was not going to return her notebook without a reply, she answered “Didi Christmas hai”. So? Again a shy smile and she said “To isse wish puri hoti hai”. I smiled and gave her the notebook back.

Her words felt as a blow to me. “Isse wish puri hoti hai”.  There came a flashback of what we used to do in our school days. This little thing, collecting the largest number of signatures, was the biggest victory of the entire life and that joy on winning was unbeatable by any other pleasure on this earth. What she would have wished for? May be a bicycle or a new pencil box? Or maybe she wished to find the lost collection of her Barbie make-up kit or the lost cap of her favourite pen? These could have been her wishes or may be something more precious to her, belonging to her fantasy world. I thought I should ask her but dropped the idea when I recalled how close these wishes are to a child’s heart. I was shocked. How can I forget what Christmas is all about when during my childhood I have waited the whole year for the festival to come? When even I knew Santa is no one, I wished if he could come. Christmas is all about wishes, about hope. Asking God to give us what we want the most, if he is there to listen to us. I wondered whether I am left with no such wishes apart from asking for peace. Is there nothing else I want that can make me happy and fill in the joy that a child feels? I realized how much I have grown old.

Take this resolution this Christmas that you will keep alive the child in your hearts, even when the sky will fall on you and the world drags the earth beneath your feet. Ask a wish this Christmas and wait for Santa to come. Wait until your wish comes true and when it comes, celebrate it the way you did when you were a child.

Merry Christmas to everyone!