Story of a Two Year Old Jeans

It was two years ago when the blue denim jeans was purchased, fresh from the showroom, packed in a smooth shining black plastic cover. It traveled all the way long in that bag on the roads to Delhi and then 36000 feet above the earth in the sky to finally reach a cozy city in Germany, just to be kept into the cupboard packed for two years. It was never worn. Only after a year the owner took the pain to take it out of its homely bag, just to keep it back again at the same place inside the cupboard. It was in darkness, except for few moments when light would creep in as the cupboard’s door opened. The jeans became a dream, only a wish to be fulfilled someday, all that the day never came for two years until today.

Today the true journey for the jeans started, to fulfill its destiny of getting worn and rugged. It breadth the fresh air for the first time in two long years. For the first time it felt the cold, the sun shine and shimmering of the frost. For the first time it felt the touch of dew drops. There was pride and relief, as the happiness prevailed through the denim followed by serenity.

I was happy because I finally did it, got what I wanted. I now know the I am in the right direction because I achieved a goal I had set. I finally lost it!

Life after Death

How frequent do you hear some news of death- in your close circles, outer circles, in society and newspapers? On an average, there is 1 death per 0.5 sec and around 6000 deaths per day. A good number of souls depart their bodies and leave the present dimension where we are still alive experiencing our basic five senses. Biologically, it’s just another process in a cycle which every living thing has to pass through, where all the metabolisms in the organism stops, breathing stops and the last molecule of Oxygen escapes the body. But, this ‘Science of Life’ cannot still completely describe all the Life it talks about. The person (referring specifically to humans here) when dies, an identity, a personality, a future, a career, an idea, a dream, a hope and a Life dies and ends with it forever. That is a dead-end, no more to go, nowhere to turn around. So things have to be buried in the soil forever, under those last footsteps and must be forgotten else Time makes that happen for the remaining Life on this Earth. With time the remains fade away with difficulty, but soon there will be no remarks on that dead-end. And who knows, with time the dead-end no more remains an end?

Within the frame of the identity that disappears, things in the present dimensions are the simplest as the complexity dies along with its originator, the Mind. Now considering the frame of the present dimension where Life exists, Life lives and with Time, as always, moves on. Our Lives are simple. We don’t cease to live with a death incident. Considering natural deaths, where the mind slowly accustoms to the fact that some connections have to be stopped, that the absence will soon be a routine but will get filled with another presence with time, things are still to an extent simple. Considering that ‘emotional root’- the Heart, it remains heavy for a little more time, but eventually, even this gets used to the absence. What is more difficult is a sudden death, which occurs as a hard blow to the senses that one’s Mind and Heart cannot absorb and it leads to a trauma. In few cases, this trauma may lead to another death, another dead-end, but in most, it is a deep scar that takes almost a life-time to heal. Even if not healed, the Lives still move on. The point is, what makes one step over the fresh bleeding and paining wounds, crush hard the red flesh bulging out over the skinny bones with the thorny soles and make this Life move on? What is this so cruel element, which is so majestically powerful that it makes a soul lifeless but still keeps the flame burning? People talk about God, it is where He comes. God is not only someone who will just always do good, He is not someone who will always be there beside you. He is someone, who is more powerful than you, someone who will make you kneel down and beg in front of Him, who has the power to break you down, shatter you into millions of pieces  and at the same time brings heaven to your range. This is what God is, whom you can never understand, who has no reasons, no questions and no answers.

It’s not just the first time I heard some news of sudden death. Considering the average death rate it is very frequent to come across such news. Just this one made me think over it again. There is this young beautiful woman, preparing for her sister’s marriage, with her sister sitting beside her. She only knows that her husband met an accident and is serious in a hospital. She is calm, patient, staring at the blank sky and praying in her heart for his life, waiting for him to come back. All the cable wires were cut down, newspapers were stopped so that no news could reach that premises, because everyone else present there, including her sister, knew that her husband died ten days ago burning himself in an act to rescue a ship worker. He is dead and there is nothing much interesting left in this story except that from now on, she will be living her life, searching and making her ways through a dead-end.

If Only

“A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare to the jeweled vision of a life started anew.”

For the first time in life, on a new year’s day the vessel was full and the brim became wet with drop by drop the liquid falling into it. At some point then, it overflowed and the liquid spilled, spreading all over the floor. Sometimes holding back the wild horses is not successful. They are stronger than your grip. So all you can do is let them go away, let them run wild and they will stop after precipitating hard. Past year, the very special 2012, can only be described as the most amazing and full of surprises. A year, which was a box of chocolates and of course, I never knew which one I was going to eat next. Some were sweet, very sweet that made my taste buds numb to sweetness. Some were Dairy Milk chocolates that you can relish anytime, in any mood and are used to their taste since childhood. Some were from Belgium, Swiss exciting my nerves and bringing a new joy and some were dark. In the bitterness, dark ones revealed a new sensation to buds. But sometimes, if you put something in your mouth, you got to swallow it, even if you don’t like the bitterness because you cannot throw it away when you took the risk happily to explore the new varieties.

When you make your way through life, turning the turns and making your flow, you feel strong. But then this belief sets aback, when life shows you that it has more power than you think you own. It can bring anything to you that you could not have even imagined of. It will carry you away with surprises, shocks and you will be left helpless, wondering why. Why. The only word that makes me helpless, that leaves me powerless, that shatters my hopes and forces me to succumb to the great mystery of life. I hate mysteries, I hate surprises. Determined life, known destinations are safer. With this unknown territory that one walks in, one never knows the mountains and pit falls one might face. Gardens, valleys may also be there but the point is you never know. And yes, there will be no reason, no answer to why. The more I tried, or still try to solve this puzzle of the life bounded with whys, I become more helpless, more succumbed to destiny, to that mysterious power which is ruling this world, just the way it wants. No matter if it’s the wrong or the right way, it’s just its way. And we, we mere creatures are no one to question why. But despite the storms, the winds, somewhere in the backyard, an indomitable spirit provokes the soul, holds it back, and carries the flickering flame of hope and faith of those unreal dreams, which burns fighting till it’s death. That’s what life is all about. I sometimes feel exhausted of understanding this. This crap of philosophy, of life, why can’t we just move without pressuring our nerves, by going against our instincts of exploring? This wears one out to the depth.

If only things are the way we want them to be, if only Life is determined, if only promises are kept, if only Life is just, if only you could get all the answers, the answers to all the whys, and if only this day could have been different, Life would have been complete. Complete with the series of dreams coming true, complete with the surprises it could offer to you, complete with the absence of this presence. But Life is still complete in its own way, just I don’t know which way it is. But if only, if only I could know.


Nita: Hey, thanks for coming!

Annie: Let me say sorry first for the last time. You know ‘na, that submission stuff and all. I was sick man. Sorry!

Nita: I already excused you. Come ‘on. And, even I am feeling a bit sick. My head is bugging man.

Annie: A serious issue right. Anyway, have you got something to drink, Coke?

Nita: I don’t like it.

Annie: Okay, sprite for you. I’ll get some.

Nita: Thanks. It feels good if someone serves you at your own home and also when you don’t freak out sometimes.

Annie: Hmm. Take.

Nita: Thanks! You know, I got an idea for my next blog.

Annie: What’s that?

Nita: Our conversation!

Annie: Wooh! So am gonna be a star. Lolz.

Nita: Come ‘on. First I thought it’s not a good idea as many people write in that similar way, but…

Annie: But what???

Nita: Okay, nothing. I’ll write that.

Annie: Better.

Nita: What?

Annie: That you are learning now how to **** this world.

Nita: You are not going to give up the use of that word, right?

Annie: That’s what I mean.

Nita: Ah! I really don’t want to do this with the world. I mean though I say I don’t care but this is a false statement sometimes. Since I try to make a balance I do so because I care. Shit! I am sick, man. I am a chaos in my own.

Annie: Oops! You never looked one before, ah han? Try me then.

Nita: Just shut up okay. I am not in a mood to joke.

Annie: How right I am! Serious Black!

Nita: You know what, you are pathetic. No, exactly! That is the sentence which is making me sick. I am fed of being right, girl! In fact, I am surprised at this. Why on this earth am so right about things? Why do I know this world so well? I mean, this being right about things and people makes me sick. I need to be wrong now. I need someone to not just say but prove to me that ‘You are wrong Nita. You think this to be so but it’s the other way round. Not everyone is same. Things are different and that they can be the way you want.’

Annie: I know I have a strange friend. When the whole world wants to prove that they are right, you are an exception.

Nita: I hate being one. In fact that is what I love. Oh god! Not this word again!

Annie: What’s the matter? I smell something.

Nita: Smell? I am going to make you eat that rot now. Oh, I made some Chinese yesterday. You want to have?

Annie: Lazy brain. I finished my coke now. Anyway; later, when I’ll digest whatever you have spoken to me.

Nita: You are so sweet. Ah!

Annie: Hmm? I hate the word.

Nita:  Even I. You know one thing, “All girls are not same and no boys are different”.

Annie: Wooh!!! Fantastic! Show me the guts now. Who’s the next who wants to die?

Nita: Don’t rush or you’ll be the one.

Annie: Ah han! You can’t do that baby.

Nita: Prove me that what I said is wrong. Please…

Annie: You are asking the wrong person, girl.

Nita: Do you mean that no one can prove this wrong? I even asked boys the same thing but got no answer.

Annie: Oh my god!!! LOL. Ha ha ha… Exactly. Only you can have these guts to ask men this question.

Nita: What do you mean?

Annie: Don’t try to be innocent with me. You know very well what I mean.

Nita: That’s what I said. I just don’t want to know it. Uff! You know what, I was just thinking that why do I even post my blogs when I am writing them for myself only.

Annie: Got an answer?

Nita: Yeah, the same as always.

Annie: I like you.

Nita: I like you too.

Annie: Marry me then. We are going to be the happiest.

Nita: Okay. I’ll ask your boyfriend to break-up with you soon. You know, I am going to be very possessive about you. So, I don’t prefer sharing anything I own.

Annie: Selfish! Utter that when you have enough guts, okay. Fool.

Nita: Yeah. I agree.

Annie: You are never going to get one.

Nita: I don’t even want to. Do hell with this world. This is a complete mess.

Annie: And you belong here.

Nita: Exactly! At least it would have been a little less messy in my absence; and that’s a phrase from my incomplete blog. Ah! I have no more words to complete it.

Annie: I got it.

Nita: Annie, why can’t opposites be just friends, in fact good friends? Why do gender differences arise always and why can’t this issue be resolved? Why can’t girls be treated as equal to boys and why can’t boys have same respect for a girl as an individual? Why girls have their looks to their disadvantage that they are always judged on that basis? You know I don’t even consider it as a factor at all. Why are there such mentalities? I want to find an exception to this. I mean, why is everyone interested to know just one thing about a girl that how many have tried to approach her before? This hurts Annie. This hurts badly. I need an exception to this, please.

Annie: Relax Nita. Don’t jump to conclusions. See, there are exceptions. I mean…

Nita: I wonder. Is it me who is trying to look for the impossible or is it wrong with me that I don’t accept this hated deprived truth easily? I am afraid because I don’t want to give up. In fact, I can never give up for things that I want. Am I doing a mistake?

Annie: Well, Nita, this is the one reason I like you so much. See, you very well know what you want and this is a big thing to figure out. Many people spend their whole lives without even knowing what they were looking for. I am not like you because I have my own priorities and requirements and I don’t think about things the way you do but I appreciate your search very much. In fact it feels great that at some point I am there for helping you in things. See Nita, this world is not the way you want it to be. I don’t deny that what you want doesn’t exist but it is very rare, kind of difficult to see in this crowd. This world is a huge stack of hay and if you want to find out your little key to answers you need to be patient. There is also, a risk that you won’t be able to get it but I would love if you don’t quit.

Nita: That has never been an option for me. That’s why am afraid. What if the time flies away and I get nowhere?

Annie: You will still have your experience.

Nita: I guess I have had enough of it. I need the results now.

Annie: I wish I could have some words to soothe you at present but I feel guilty as I don’t have any. I can just ask you to be patient.

Nita: It’s more than enough for me that you are here to hear me out. Thanks! Just this much is sometimes sufficient to go on with the journey.

Annie: You know, Nita?

Nita: Hmm?

Annie: You are one of the best girls I have ever known. And the fact is that all your friends agree with this truth.

Nita: But I am too rude, right?

Annie: You are not like that always. You are just too straight and sometimes it is good for you. Though, you have some drawbacks but that everyone else has too. So comparatively, you are far better than the rest and different.

Nita: Thanks but should I take this ‘being different’ in a good will or as something else?

Annie: Ah! I need to be hit on my head now. I am going to have some Chinese. If you feel like eating something after clearing all this mess that you created, just come soon.

Nita: Yup. I better clean this soon. In fact, it is all clear now. Let’s go. And …

Annie: What now?

Nita: I love you.

Annie: Yeah, I accept the lie, me too.

Nita: You won’t change.

Annie: And I wish even you don’t.

Nita: I guess. Thanks!